11 words to make you sound smart, guaranteed
One of the easiest ways to sound like you should be eating expensive cheese and swirling your wine around in your glass before you take dainty sips of it is to say big words. Not too big of words that people call you ‘pretentious’ or ‘ugh, THAT girl/guy’ behind your back, but big enough that people think you might have Wuthering Heights on your nightstand.
The English language of today’s chatterbox social yappers is full of asinine, confusing, half-words. Whatever happened to being well-spoken? Well, who cares. Just mix some smart things into your word barf and you’ll at least stand a head above your peers.
If you can absorb these 11 (+1!) stealth-brainiac words into your booze-soaked mind-grapes, you’ll be getting a promotion at work in no time.
Here they are, 11 lexical gems for your brain stems
- vacillate: to flip flop.
“I vacillate daily on which Kim is worse for humanity: Kardashian, or Jong Un.” - deleterious: bad for the health.
“vaping is not only deleterious to your health, but also to your ability to find a suitable mate.” - paroxysm: a violent outburst, a spasm.
“when my Uncle told me why he voted for Trump, I had a limb-swinging paroxysm followed by a brain aneurysm.” - anathema: something or someone hated.
“being a Steeler’s fan is anathema around here, it’s the easiest way to lose friends.” (see, I know about foosball) - ad nauseam: to a degree that makes you sick.
“we drank Jameson ad nauseam. Literally. I puked in the Uber.” - circumspect: careful, watchful, discreet.
“because of my beard I’m always circumspect when I eat ice cream.” - apropos (pronounced ap ruh POH): at the right time, appropriate.
“you bringing up the Steelers is apropos of the fact that I just took out the trash.” (that’s twice) - obsequious: fawning and obedient, servile.
“The barista was obsequious and speedy when he waited on you, he treated me like shit.” - immure: to hide away, to imprison.
“you ought to immure your love for Trump before you get us beat up.” - insouciant (in soo see ant): carefree, laid back, chill.
“I like to hit the bong before I go to family dinner, it keeps me insouciant and calm.” Note: a single hit or ‘toke’ of a marijuana can kill you instantly, I heard. - obdurate: won’t budge, can’t be persuaded.
“my uncle is so goddam obdurate about politics, you can’t convince him of anything not on Fox.” - Bonus: lucida: this is the brightest star in a constellation, I think.
“my uncle spilling gravy all over his shirt on Thanksgiving was the lucida of my holiday.”
There you go. Throw these bad boys into casual rotation and you’ll be sure to raise some opinions, if not some eyebrows. You will almost certainly get a promotion, a book deal, and maybe even a hug from a frowzy gentleman wearing a garbage bag with a MAGA hat on 14th St. at 7:30am.
If you like my writing, wait til you hear my podcast.
