The People of Breckenridge
I am enjoying my first vacation ever in the city of Breckenridge, Colorado as we speak. Beyond the panoramic glass windows of the rental I’m staying in stretch high-alpine ranges. Stretching high above the tree line, the snow-capped peaks are lightly tattooed with ski lifts and dotted with adventuring skiers and snowboarders. The homes at the base of the mountain populate dense pine forest and are styled after European ski lodges.
Below the chalet lies the quaint town of Breckenridge. It comprises a hodgepodge of small shops, breweries, sports rentals, and the required Starbucks and Verizon. The typical affluent vacationer cannot survive outside of the Starbucks-Verizon Diameter, around .75 miles.
Much like any tourist destination, Breckenridge is populated by two distinct peoples: the ones that live here, and the assholes who vacation here. I realize, unironically, that I am currently a member of the vacationer class. But, by god, that isn’t going to stop me from being driven nuts by these people.
The Residents
Every single person I have met who lives or works here has been part of the friendliest tribe of human beings to ever exist. From the guy who helped me try on ski boots to the guy giving me a discount on my coffee for the long wait to the guy who owns this rental house. People go out of their way to lend a hand, offer encouragement on the slopes, and tell a joke.
Even the fox who prowls around the deck at night stares in the window and winks at us, inviting us to stay comfy in our chairs and enjoy a crackling fire while he pokes around for mice to devour.
It makes sense — this is the most beautiful place I have ever been. Sentinel pines line ski runs, heavy snow drifts blanket everything, leaning precariously over the tops of wooden cabins and small coffee shops. The mountainous vistas surrounding everywhere you look remind you of the majesty of this earth we inhabit.
I can’t imagine living here and being able to stay angry or irritated about anything trivial for long.
Now, that’s only a small percentage of the people here.
The Tourists
Talk about a bunch of entitled assholes. Where I come from in the midwest, a highly irritating traffic behavior is everyone deferring to everyone else in a 4-way stop. In Breckenridge, out-of-town plates are more likely to give you the finger and cut you off than let you go first.
I took my daughter sledding today at a local free park called Carter Pavilion. It was really nice — wide and medium low grade, perfect for kids to feel the speed but with plenty of time to slow down. Fresh powder, mountains in the distance. However, two assholes got into a shouting match over whether or not it was acceptable to walk up the middle of the hill or if everyone should go around the marked fence. Eventually, everyone in my group started yelling at the yelling guys to stop yelling. It was ridiculous. Grown men with kids, arguing on a children’s sledding hill over who was more right about how to walk.
Another thing that drives me insane is people ordering off menu, arbitrarily. There’s a menu for a reason — you don’t pick every single ingredient you see you like from various dishes and order random dishes. I had to watch a woman berate a coffee shop cashier over some kind of open faced nightmare she was creating off-the-cuff. He literally couldn’t enter her wishes into the computer — he had to call over the cook and explain it to her in person.
Just Relax: Tips for Vacation
In the spirit of making the world better for everyone, including the browbeaten waitstaff at local coffees shop known for enormous cinnamon rolls, here is a list of behaviors to consider:
- You are not, and I mean this, more important than anyone else.
- Understand that things you do and say have an impact on people.
- Slow down. Enjoy life. You only get to do it once.
- Is whatever you’re doing a matter of life or death? No? Okay. Well…
- If you constantly act like an asshole, you’re actually an asshole. If you constantly act awesome, you’re actually awesome.
- If you object to the things on this list, you’re the problem.
Now, get out there and be friendly and have some fun.
